~A Faithful Journey~

Since I won't be updating the blog anytime soon with vacation next week and our big move. I wanted to share "our story" as we are getting close to our 2 year anniversary on August 9th. I love you honey. I am blessed to have such a wonderful husband to laugh, cry, and go through life with. Happy anniversary...may we never forget that God has always been faithful!!!!

I walk through the student center of Indiana Wesleyan on my way to lunch in Baldwin. Nursing tests to study for, clinical to think about, missing my family and the boyfriend. Yep, that’s it, living the dream of college life.

Most people light up when they talk about their “college experiences” however, when I even think about college, I immediately feel a heavy load packed with stress, loneliness, and fear of ever finishing strong. I don’t want you to get the wrong picture. I met a wonderful group of nursing friends, had some fun times, and made lots of memories, but overall college was a hard time for me.

I sat down at Baldwin cafeteria in a booth alone, preparing myself for a long conversation with Adam over the phone. I couldn’t put it on the back burner any longer. Vulnerability is scary especially when you could be setting yourself up for disappointment, but I decide to take the risk. What if it is a stepping stone closer to where God is leading me, and he’s just asking me to trust him? Michelle, Take a LEAP of FAITH.

I flip open my phone and call Adam wondering if I’ll catch him on his lunch break. I hear that familiar voice on the phone and my heart aches. I miss his physical presence and long for the next time we will meet again. I’m sure I answer with the usual, “How is your day going?” But if you know me, I don’t usually waste anytime when I have something to discuss.

After explaining to Adam about how frustrated and depressed I was feeling with struggling to figure out my “future” plans, I talked with him about going forward with the possibility of getting married in the summer. (This was in January at the time) To me this was a huge thing to admit. Me: the planner, the cautious one, the perfectionist. I was admitting to the love of my life that MY plan of waiting to get married one year after I was done with college was just that, MY plan. I was realizing that maybe God wanted me to take a step back and let him take control of MY plan and make it HIS plan.

I could run you through the list of fears with getting married so soon. Planning a wedding, going to Africa for the month of May, starting a new job in June, and finishing my semester of nursing classes were some just some of the things that stood in the way of getting married. Oh, did I mention Adam didn’t have a job yet, and he was the one that would have to mainly support us while I was finishing school. Ok. I know I’m starting to ramble. I’ll stop there, but my mind could race with all the worries of getting married and not waiting till Adam and I’s lives were a bit more settled in our careers and financial status. In the back of my mind I kept telling myself, “God, all I did was mention it could be a possibility, not that it was a definite.”

I’ll never forget hearing Adam’s voice. He was shocked. He had mentioned getting married before I finished school, but was shot down many times. Again I’m the planner, the organizer, the worrier. Adam’s the adventuresome, care-free, laid back one. So we each took what God had laid before us and prayed about it while moving forward. Adam started looking at job opportunities in Indianapolis, and I prepared for the possibility of not living on campus the next semester. Life moved on, and I was desperately praying that God would stop this nonsense if that was what it was, but NOTHING. So we continued forward with the next steps.

Spring break started, and I left as usual to see Adam for the weekend in Chicago before heading home. I was broken and exhausted. I had been laughed at by people I called friends for the craziness and foolishness of getting married so soon. I missed the deadline for campus housing and had no potential roommate, trusting God to follow through for me. In my desperation I cried out to God: “Where are you? Am I being foolish in thinking this will happen? Please come through for your namesake.”

I called my mom driving to see Adam, emotionally and spiritually exhausted. My mom prayed with me and told me that God must be going to do something amazing in my life with all the “persecution” going on. I pictured her face lighting up with a smile, and we end the phone conversation with her telling me to enjoy my weekend with Adam.

I laugh thinking about it. God did have something amazing planned for me that weekend. The next day, On February 29, 2008 Adam took me to an Ethiopian restaurant and proposed to me on a pier overlooking the Chicago skyline. The night was simple yet meaningful, and we were both thrilled to be moving forward with God in the center of all OUR plans.

After our memorable engagement, God made every little detail fit in to place. I went home after my weekend with Adam and spent my spring break trying on wedding dresses, finding one, and getting my bridesmaids dresses. Adam came home later and we booked the church and started premarital counseling. I raised all the money for Ethiopia and was able to go on the trip God had prepared my heart for since junior high. We found an apartment and signed a lease. Adam bought a new, used car, graduated in May, and found a job in Indianapolis in July. During the summer, I worked during the week as a student nurse in the emergency department, and drove home on the weekends to work on meeting with the florist, the pianist, working on wedding invitations, meeting with coordinators, bridal showers, etc. (the list could go on and on). Adam stayed in Chicago for the summer and worked at the law firm and was involved with youth ministry at a local church.

We married on August 9, 2008 at our home church and left for our honeymoon to Cancun,Mexico. Life went on. You were expecting the traditional phrase, “and we lived happily ever after” weren’t you? Don’t worry, I’m not about to share this story with you just to make you vomit with disgust due to a sappy ending. Actually after August 9, 2008 our life began. I was finishing nursing school and Adam was starting a new job in youth ministry at CrossroadsChurch. We had and continue to have good and bad times, adjusting to periods of transitioning, but we had the comfort of knowing no one else but God could have pulled it off. This was all apart of HIS plan.

God taught me so much through this one experience in my life. Sometimes what I think is the best plan for me, is not. Profound, I know. God has the best plan. When I want to hold on to something so dear, safe, and secure to me, God will remind me of this “story.” He will say to me, “Michelle, let me plan your life. I know what is better for you than even yourself.” I truly believe God gave me this example to teach me about future decisions. This story is a reminder to me, a drastic reminder. I could have missed out on a huge blessing from God because I was so scared of the letting go of the known, or in my case, the plan.

What do I miss on a daily basis because I don’t step out in faith, but listen to what people or the world are telling me is “safe?” God does not promise an easy life, or a life without pain and suffering, but that he will be present with us. At times, what we do may seem silly or foolish to others, but sometimes God calls us to do those things to test us, and see if we are willing to do anything to follow Him. Our lives are a testimony to others of him working in and through us.

And so Adam and I’s lives began with a story about being faithful and obedient to God by completely trusting him through the unknown. I pray our marriage will continue to be infused with many more as we grow closer to God and one another over the years. To God be the glory for great things he has done.

I Cor 1:27

But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.

Matt. 16:4

Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.