Poison and Wine

"Mawwiage!" "Mawwiage is what brings us together today. Mawwiage that blessed arrangement, that dream within a dream..."

Just had to start my blog about marriage with one of my favorite quote on the movie, Princess Bride. It is the season for weddings, and Adam and I have had our share of joining with others in the celebration. It is a happy, bubbly time, a time to recite vows, see loved ones, and celebrate all God has done and will continue to do. Love is evident in the eyes of those who stand before their guests and witnesses.

I think I can say that Adam and I are officially out of our newlywed stage in life. Even though we have only been married about three years, I am continually reminded that marriage is a joy and very difficult at times. Marriage is about two selfish people coming together and learning how to love and serve each other ultimately through their love for Christ. It's about being fruitful and multiplying to produce godly offspring. It's about having a partner to go through life with, but no one ever said that road would be perfect and easy to travel...

I came across this song a friend sent me and she asked me what I thought of the song.... (You'll have to scroll down to the bottom of the blog and pause the music first so you don't hear multiple songs playing)

You only know what i want I you to
I know everything you don't want me to
your mouth is poison your mouth is wine
you think your dreams are the same as mine

I don't love you but I always will
I don't love you but I always will
I don't love you but I always will
I always will

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
well the less I give the more I get back
your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice, but I'd still choose you

I don't love you but I always will
I don't love you but I always will
I don't love you but I always will
I don't love you but I always will

To me, I had to listen to this 3 or 4 times and the first two times I listened to it, I actually hated it. Why would I want to admit to myself that marriage isn't this fairytale, lovey-dovey thing?? Joy Williams, the singer/songwriter said this about the song:

"Poison & Wine is a musical snapshot about the dichotomy of love - that while it can be the thing that destroys you, it can also be the very same thing that beckons and builds you. JP and I are both married have been for several years now - and we got to talking one day about what a tug and pull our individual relationships can be. The longer you know someone - and the longer you allow someone to know you - the more the light and shadows inside each person become more vivid. This song was our attempt at being as brutally honest about the dangerous and beautiful process of knowing and being known."

I think as women, we are looking for a constant fairytale story in our husbands. We want to be their "rockstar" as a friend of mine would say. :) When they do something to disappoint us, we forget that they are human....and thus, we are too. I love the tug-of-war of the husband vs. wife in this song. But in the end, they are together gazing in each others eyes saying, "I don't love you....but I always will...I always will...

...and sometimes that's just how you feel....how can someone you love so much, hurt you that much?!?! But these are the times the Lord speaks to me and says, "Michelle, who are you relying on?" "Your husband or me?" ...and suddenly, the lightbulb turns on, and I wish I hadn't waited so long to stumble in the dark before finding the light switch...our marriage will never be held together on OUR own...only through God...and that's my daily prayer.

I read this quote and have always loved it: "If marriage were all about fated, perfect love, there would be no need for a vow." So true, so true.

 The longer I am with my husband, the more I am learning what it means to love one another...to give 100% and not expect anything back. To be honest, I wouldn't want to be in the newlywed stage forever. There is so much to adjust to and not much life-experience to share, but it does have it's own joys too. I look at my husband now, and truly have such a deeper love for him after going through some of our struggles. He balances me out, keeps me from being too serious, makes me laugh, and loves the Lord. I am blessed to have such a man!!!

So what now? Now, I am just learning to rely on God daily to teach me how to love and care for this man...and we have our whole lives...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 

~I Corinthians 13~

Vacation in Arizona

 We were so excited to finally see the Grand Canyon!

 We stayed in Phoenix a couple days...

 Crows/Ravens everywhere!!

 It was so beautiful, then to see this verse. I marveled at God's creation!

 Went to see a Diamondback game.

Went to the Desert Botanical Garden. These cacti were huge!

Just thought I'd share some of my favorite pictures with you while on vacation. Adam and I really enjoyed being able to see the Grand Canyon. This was the first time both of us had seen the Grand Canyon. We were both thrilled and thankful to get time off and be able to travel.