Poison and Wine

"Mawwiage!" "Mawwiage is what brings us together today. Mawwiage that blessed arrangement, that dream within a dream..."

Just had to start my blog about marriage with one of my favorite quote on the movie, Princess Bride. It is the season for weddings, and Adam and I have had our share of joining with others in the celebration. It is a happy, bubbly time, a time to recite vows, see loved ones, and celebrate all God has done and will continue to do. Love is evident in the eyes of those who stand before their guests and witnesses.

I think I can say that Adam and I are officially out of our newlywed stage in life. Even though we have only been married about three years, I am continually reminded that marriage is a joy and very difficult at times. Marriage is about two selfish people coming together and learning how to love and serve each other ultimately through their love for Christ. It's about being fruitful and multiplying to produce godly offspring. It's about having a partner to go through life with, but no one ever said that road would be perfect and easy to travel...

I came across this song a friend sent me and she asked me what I thought of the song.... (You'll have to scroll down to the bottom of the blog and pause the music first so you don't hear multiple songs playing)

You only know what i want I you to
I know everything you don't want me to
your mouth is poison your mouth is wine
you think your dreams are the same as mine

I don't love you but I always will
I don't love you but I always will
I don't love you but I always will
I always will

I wish you'd hold me when I turn my back
well the less I give the more I get back
your hands can heal, your hands can bruise
I don't have a choice, but I'd still choose you

I don't love you but I always will
I don't love you but I always will
I don't love you but I always will
I don't love you but I always will

To me, I had to listen to this 3 or 4 times and the first two times I listened to it, I actually hated it. Why would I want to admit to myself that marriage isn't this fairytale, lovey-dovey thing?? Joy Williams, the singer/songwriter said this about the song:

"Poison & Wine is a musical snapshot about the dichotomy of love - that while it can be the thing that destroys you, it can also be the very same thing that beckons and builds you. JP and I are both married have been for several years now - and we got to talking one day about what a tug and pull our individual relationships can be. The longer you know someone - and the longer you allow someone to know you - the more the light and shadows inside each person become more vivid. This song was our attempt at being as brutally honest about the dangerous and beautiful process of knowing and being known."

I think as women, we are looking for a constant fairytale story in our husbands. We want to be their "rockstar" as a friend of mine would say. :) When they do something to disappoint us, we forget that they are human....and thus, we are too. I love the tug-of-war of the husband vs. wife in this song. But in the end, they are together gazing in each others eyes saying, "I don't love you....but I always will...I always will...

...and sometimes that's just how you feel....how can someone you love so much, hurt you that much?!?! But these are the times the Lord speaks to me and says, "Michelle, who are you relying on?" "Your husband or me?" ...and suddenly, the lightbulb turns on, and I wish I hadn't waited so long to stumble in the dark before finding the light switch...our marriage will never be held together on OUR own...only through God...and that's my daily prayer.

I read this quote and have always loved it: "If marriage were all about fated, perfect love, there would be no need for a vow." So true, so true.

 The longer I am with my husband, the more I am learning what it means to love one another...to give 100% and not expect anything back. To be honest, I wouldn't want to be in the newlywed stage forever. There is so much to adjust to and not much life-experience to share, but it does have it's own joys too. I look at my husband now, and truly have such a deeper love for him after going through some of our struggles. He balances me out, keeps me from being too serious, makes me laugh, and loves the Lord. I am blessed to have such a man!!!

So what now? Now, I am just learning to rely on God daily to teach me how to love and care for this man...and we have our whole lives...

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 

~I Corinthians 13~

Vacation in Arizona

 We were so excited to finally see the Grand Canyon!

 We stayed in Phoenix a couple days...

 Crows/Ravens everywhere!!

 It was so beautiful, then to see this verse. I marveled at God's creation!

 Went to see a Diamondback game.

Went to the Desert Botanical Garden. These cacti were huge!

Just thought I'd share some of my favorite pictures with you while on vacation. Adam and I really enjoyed being able to see the Grand Canyon. This was the first time both of us had seen the Grand Canyon. We were both thrilled and thankful to get time off and be able to travel.

It's The Little Things

My day started at the sound of an annoying alarm clock telling me to rise and shine (I don't know about the shinning part) at 5:15am. Ugh, I would say I'm a morning person, but not that early and definately not after I worked a 13 hour shift the day before.

The hours at work would not slow down and actually, I felt like I was running out of time with so much to do and a really sick patient on every kind of drip you could imagine...2 hour insulin checks, EVD/ICP monitoring every hour, CVP monitoring every 4 hours, neuro checks every 1 hour, meds to give, assessments to do, cleaning to do, and being there for a distraught wife and kids, and of course, the unexpected and upredicted things that arise with an ICU patient....and then there's another patient to take care of...(that's for all you nurses out there that understand...) but I'm not here to talk about the crazy day I had...

I quickly sent my husband a text at 3:30pm when I was snarfing (yes, snarfing) down some lunch...it said something like, 'Just to give you a heads up, I won't be home until late tonight.' I just had a feeling, especially since I practically hadn't charted a thing that day...

Eventually, I get home and my husband had prepared some dinner for us both. Relief sets in, I am home!! Practically lethargic after my exhausting day, I snarf (yes, again) dinner down and drag myself in to bed...

The husband says, "You're going to bed already?" As he's running around and playing with the dog, huffing and puffing with all the excitement and using his unending supply of energy. He presumes to be a 'chatty Kathy' and I've learned that I have to take every advantage of those times he actually wants to talk instead of me 'interrogating' him about his day. :) So I put aside my tiredness while lying in bed and prayed for an ounce of energy so I could stay up and converse with my husband.

We laughed about the silly dog and chatted about the happenings with my husbands job. I was able to share about what happened at work and the difficulties and joys of my day. We even got on the subject of talking about Chicago. I told him Chicago always reminded me of him, because it's where I'd drive to to see him during breaks/weekends from school. I walk down Michigan Ave. and all of a sudden all of these memories flood my mind. We talked about how exciting it was to be young and so in love (and infatuated), but are thankful to be beyond that in our marriage. It will be three years in August, and we've grown a lot together. We have even been able to laugh about our horrible (Adam's in agreement) first year together...adjusting was hard, but even more than that we had (and continue to) learn about each other..

I'm sure some of you who are reading this after having been married 20+ years are laughing in agreement with a lot of this. But It is exciting the longer you've been married to see how much you continue to grow as a couple. Adam's gotten pretty good in some areas of knowing how to take care of me and vice versa...and having dinner ready for me after a rough day at work was one way.

It's the little things...like talking in bed and chatting with my husband that made my day. I love nothing more than just being with my husband and talking about life. I pray daily I don't miss an opportunity like this...which could have been easy to do.

Seize the day, seize the moment. Praise the Lord for the work he continues to do in me, in my husband, and in the life of each individual. May you be looking for all the little opportunities in your day...

The Progress on My Project

The Progress so far: 

I have most of my frames together. Still looking for one awesome 'main' frame...

 

The bare wall where the frames will go: 

Eventually I will get there....

The weirdest dog I know...She doesn't sleep on top of a comfy, cozy blanket. She has to bury herself under a blanket...

Pictures for Collage of Frames

I will sing of the Lord's great love forever; 

with my mouth I will make your faithfulness known through

 all generations.  ~Psalms 89:1

Christmas card 2010

Cancun 2011

Mount Rushmore: South Dakota

Honeymoon- August 2008

Smokey Mountains- vacation 2009

 Things seen while on vacation:

Peak at Mt. Harney: South Dakota

Wedding: August 9, 2008

Badlands of South Dakota

That's all the pictures I've gathered so far, but more to come. I'm trying to find pictures of where Adam and I have been and a story that shows what God has done in our lives. Help me decide which pictures you like the most. :)

He's Got The Whole World In His Hands

"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have called you and you are mine." Jer. 31:3

Dear Friends and Family,

   

Adam and I's hearts have been burdened for the people of Japan after receiving news about the devastating earthquake and tsunami. It does not take very much to be reminded that our life here on the earth is but a breath and we have no control. My heart breaks for the hurting people in Japan..those that have lost loved ones or are waiting to hear from loved ones...homes destroyed, food and water lacking, those sick and injured...not to mention the unrest after such a devastation. 

I remember thinking about a picture something like the one I have posted above and thinking about the simple song I was taught as a child: "He's Got The Whole World In His Hands...." What does that look like to you? More importantly, what does that mean to you? After doing a study in high school on Revelation, I remember being in awe and quite frankly having a deeper holy fear and reverence of the God I serve. 

I have a new light, a new perspective when reading Matthew 24 on the signs of the end of the age:

"As Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately. 'Tell us,' they said,' when will this happen, and what will be the sign of your coming...?' Jesus answered...'You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains. Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me...For then there will be great distress, unequaled from the beginning of the world until now-and never to be equaled again...but for the sake of the elect those days will be shortened...'the sun will be darkened, and the moon will not give its light; the starts will fall from the sky, and the heavenly bodies will be shaken.' 

Still with me? Hang in there...

'At that time the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky...with power and great glory. And he will send his angels with a loud trumpet call, and they will gather his elect from the four winds, from one end of the heavens to the other...even so, when you see all these things, you know that it is near, right at the door. I tell you the truth, this generation (or race) will not pass away until all these things have happened." 

Wow! Powerful... Christ is coming, but before he does, this world (not just a country or city) will be in mass devastation and (I'm sure) chaos. How can we not turn to a God who is so much bigger than all this? How can we not run into the arms of the one who is calling us to him? I do not know when he is coming, no one does, but Christ warns in his word that it is soon.

In closing, John 3:16 says, "For God so LOVED the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him will not perish but have everlasting life."  

There is a happy ending to this...No matter what we endure on earth, if we have accepted Christ as our Savior, we will be with him in heaven for an eternity and come back to reign on a new earth. 

Revelation 21:1-5 "Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and there was no longer any sea. I saw the Holy City, the new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride beautifully dressed for her husband. And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, 'Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away...I am making everything new.' Then he said, 'Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.'"