May'hem' Family: A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

A friend of mine from the good ole college days reminded me of the toughest 14 months of my life! They far exceeded nursing school, nursing boards, starting a new job, moving a way from family, etc. It was the best of days and the worst of days...life with a newborn as a first time parent.

I loved my time with little Everett until the dreaded nap time or bed time. It was often times chaotic and unpredictable. As a type A personality, I HATED unpredictability mixed with the unattainability of communicating with my newborn and knowing his needs. Was he hungry, tired, teething, hurting, gassy, etc.?

I didn't really come in to parenting having many expectations. I knew there would be lack of sleep. I knew my newborn would be up frequently, etc. What I didn't know was how long it would last and what it was like to go through severe sleep deprivation?!?! College wasn't even good preparation (I remember thinking...haha!)

Disclaimer: Now what I don't want to do is paint this horrible picture of what it's like to be a parent. That is not the point of this blog. What I do hope to get across is that it is hard, but there are many many rewarding times too. So stay tuned, I am just "setting the stage" so to speak...

I remember how agonizing it was to feel filled with anxiety to try to sleep when the baby was sleeping (stupidest phrase there is..in my opinion), while spending hours rocking, bouncing, singing, and silently praying he would stay asleep longer then 20 min...and then try to hurry and fall asleep. (Ever tried to hurry sleep?)

We went through phases:

~I celebrated when I got a rare 4 hour chunk of time to sleep at night. (Maybe a handful of times it was 6 hours.)

~I celebrated when I was able to successfully put my child down to sleep

~I celebrated getting through a colicky night by taking a bath with Everett (we were prunny but happy)

~I celebrated first smiles and giggles

~I celebrated being able to successfully Breastfeed after struggling for months

~I celebrated getting through the 2 month phase of only taking 20 min naps

Do you see a theme? I celebrated! Sure there were lots of days it felt more like a defeat, but God reminded me to find joy in the midst of my zombie like state. One thing that reminded of me of the joys of parenthood was pictures. I took them often! I sometimes was known to grab my camera on my so called "crabby" days and take pictures of Everett doing his thing. Somehow capturing funny, cute things changed my outlook. To me photography was like my "happy pill." Did it magically solve everything? Um, no. But it was God's beautiful reminder to me of the precious gift he'd entrusted to me.

Sure, at about 14 months, things finally got better on the sleeping end and now it's on to some other challenges to tackle. (Tantrums, toddler ways, 2nd pregnancy, to name a few) But finding joy in the moment is key bc we are always being brought through something new...

I leave you with a few pictures that remind me of the joys of motherhood and have some memories of severe sleep deprivation. :) Maybe you saw these of facebook, but did you know the real story behind it all? :) I snapped many of these photos in a "desperate state." Most I have kept to myself to cherish. I hope in sharing these (and the captions) to encourage your hearts emotionally exhausted and sleep deprived mamas everywhere.

Only 2 weeks old. The love of my life and I were struggling to figure this breastfeeding thing while dealing with tongue tie problems...

Not much sleep last night. (Ginger's even exhausted..haha)

My crazy kid and his active lifestyle even during his naps. :)

Celebrating he fact that he was atleast napping in my moby. Loved that thing!!

Nervous about our long 3 hour car drive with a baby who screamed the whole time bc he hated the car seat, but excited to be celebrating Christmas this year as a family of three.